Watashi Wa bejetarian desu
It don’t mean a thing. If you are vegetarian and going to Japan be prepared that you may starve. Unless you are with someone who speaks fluent Japanese. You might be able to say the phrase but the concept of being veggie doesn’t really seem to exist.
Toku Hands Could Take Over
Ah The inspiration of Toku Hands. Honest, if they opened a Toku Hands store in London, John Lewis would be out of business for starters. There is a floor for every conceivable anything and more, stuff you’ve no idea what it can possibly be for.
‘Grooming” is a very big deal in Japan. And the weirdest part of the store was all these contraptions for women to loose weight and look slimmer; Many Strange girdle things, eyebrow things, tortuous looking mouth devices and a range of items, with a cute cartoon pig on the front.
called FAT PIG !!!!!!
There also seems to be a fondness for magnets? Hundreds of them all different sizes and shapes and characters, and key chain nik- knack thingys for your mobile, I’m not kidding thousands of collectible weird characters including these odd devilish creatures that look like balls of string?
Panic Attack
Both myself and Bedwyr had similar shopping centre attacks. Though Bed found out that panic attack means a different thing in japan. Apparently some guy had gone ape recently in the aforementioned Tokyu Hands with a machete and killed several people! This is known as a panic attack. And it best not to use these words.
We just both thought we were experiencing earth tremors, but I think it was just jet lag and not enough veggie sushi on my part.
Miscommunication and Kawaii
Everybody thinks I am Kawaii ! (cute) and everybody wants to have their picture taken with Bed. Each time Rumiko introduces us to anyone, she makes Bedwyr stand next to her, and then they laugh. Bed is very tall and Rumiko is a very small. I wonder if this is wearing a trifle thin, but Bedwyr appears to be taking it fairly graciously.
Before we went to Tokyo I had sent emails to make sure there were dancers ready to meet me when I arrived for rehearsals for the performance. The email I received said, yes, there were 30dancers of mixed age range. Great. What I didn’t know, when I turned up to my Monday morning rehearsal was that mixed age range meant between the ages of 6-7. So, what can you do? Try not to look too completely shocked, remember there is a TV crew here watching you all the way. And we have been told to be ultra polite at all times.
The Interviewer asks me, ‘So what is your concept to work with the children of Ikebukuro?’ What can I say, ‘Well there isn’t one. It’s not supposed to be like this’ ?. I explain to Kazuko and Rumiko, that this is not what I was expecting. Are there other classes of more mixed ages I can work with? After some chatting they assure me, this is fine, all sorted, I am to come on Wednesday at 3ock. So I teach the kids, they like the monkey dance best and I get a nice picture of them holding bananas. At the end, while I being interviewed again, all the kids suddenly appear in front of me holding up their mobile phone cameras to take my picture.
Then I make my boo-boo to the camera, when asked what I think of the children of Ikebukuro by saying, ‘ah Kawai’, which Ben and Aiko later tell me actually means, ‘Spooky’, ‘Kawaii’, (pronounced like a long E on the end), means cute.
The second rehearsal I turn up to on Wednesday, I have a room of older ladies.
Rockin all over the World
I meet my friend Mari at Harujuku station. We see all these great kids in their outfits, hanging out on the bridge, A bit like Camden Town, only its clean, there are no pushers or drunks, or stalls all selling the same tat.
The fake tan weirdness and wigs that we’ve seen in other parts of Tokyo is not so apparent here, this is much more costume orientated, The Victorian maid look is very popular, but I like the teenage twins who pose for me to take their picture , dressed identically in more obviously homemade outfits. Much more creative. I suspect they have spent all week, or maybe months, to wear them this Sunday.
We walk on to Yoygi Park, which I keep calling Yogi Bear park, and there they are- In full glory. A bunch of campish, but hard looking guys, dancing away in their black pants and leather, with emormous quiffs. And who told me they didn’t exist any more?? Apparently these guys have been coming to the park every Sunday for thirty years! Mari asks them for me if they would come to my dance performance but they work on Saturdays, and are at the park every Sunday. We get Ken San’s mobile number and I take some photos. I return next Sunday and actually manage to get something that I wanted the whole time. It takes an hour and a half to get in there, and the guys show me the line dance id seen the weekend before, thinking I could pick it up easily and how similar it is to one of my Mod dances. Mari films for me and some smart arse walks right through the middle us. But I think there is enough there on film. Then I have to rush back to Ikebukuro, pick up my costume, shower, eat and start all over again. For the next performance I decide to wear a different dress, and go a bit more all out to try and get people in the audience to dance with us, because we don’t have the villagers today, or he Beatles to stir things on. Its hard, but some guys join in. Japanese audiences are hard, they put up a mask, I am told by Nariko, the dance teacher, But if they are still in their seats….. well your onto a winner. I don’t know if the Juneaus know this when they have to play, headlining the end of the performance. So wee whoop as much as we can. The cans of Kirin help.



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